For those of you who don't know, over the last couple of years I've settled into a very consistent exercise routine. I exercise rather intensely for 45 minutes to an hour, six days a week. It's not about losing weight, it's about being healthy and doing something for "me". I get up early in the morning before anyone else is awake. This keeps my "me time" consistent and uninterrupted. I've done several different programs including P90X (twice!), TurboFire, Chalene Extreme, and Physique 57. But my all-time favorite way to break a good sweat is to go for an old-fashioned run.
I remember a time when I used to HATE to run, but now I love it! I think my love for running is tied into the spiritual connection I feel with God when I do it. When I can get away from the house on a long run, it's one of the few times that it's just me and God. For a while now, I've had my exercise schedule strategically set up so that my run day is on Sunday. It's the perfect way to start a Sunday....I think of it as my Sabbath morning "sacrifice". I've really come to treasure that special time to think and pray (God, please, just help me make it to the next stop sign!). I always have Christian music going on my I-pod, and there's always something He has to say to me through one of the songs. Today, that song was "God of this City" by Chris Tomlin.
Shortly after we moved to Houston, I began working as a nanny for the Lackey family. I'll never forget the first Wednesday night that I drove all of the kids into "town" for church. It was my first real experience of Houston commuter traffic. We were headed north into the city, so our side of the freeway was fine. However, the south side of the freeway headed out of town was just PACKED with cars. Thousands upon thousands of people in all those cars crawling their way back out to the suburbs. As I was noticing all the traffic, "God of this City" came on the radio and as I listened to the words of the song, I broke into tears. I felt so overwhelmed at the daunting task of bringing God's love to a city of so many people. It was like God was revealing to me the enormity and the importance of our role here. So many people who need the love of Christ. So many people who need to know that life can be and is SUPPOSED to be so much more than working, spending an hour and a half in traffic, and barely getting to see their families every day ... only to get up and do it all over again the next day. Since then, every time I hear that song I think of that moment.
So once again, this morning when it unexpectedly came on my I-pod during my run, I thought about that same moment. But this time, God used that same song to give me a different message. You see, I've been feeling really guilty about our move to Nashville. Don't get me wrong....I'm really excited about getting to Granny White and seeing what God has in store for us there. But I feel guilty for leaving West U because I still see so much work that needs to be done here. Honestly, this time it was a message about humility. The truth is, I had a lot of plans for what I was going to do at West U. I was taking over the preschool program. I was revamping the children's worship. I was starting Bible Memory Challenge. Now that we are moving, some of those things are not going to happen. The realization that MY plans for West U are different from GOD'S plans has been a tough pill to swallow. Or even more humbling---was I even seeking out God's will in making those plans in the first place, or was I just moving forward with what I thought was best?
Regardless, this morning I felt God telling me to let the guilt go. God is the God of Houston. He is the King of these people. There is no other God like Him. And He will do whatever He wants to do in Houston....with or without me. I guess the big lesson is this: God is God. I am not. I'm just Kristen. I don't have the magic answers to solve all the problems. I just need to listen and do what God says when and where He says to do it.
Father God, thank you so much for this lesson in humility. I know that Your plans are higher and greater than my plans. Your thoughts are so much greater than my thoughts. Even when I demand my own way, You will always accomplish Your purpose. I know that greater things are still to come in Houston. Jesus, I pray that every soul in this city would come to know you as their Lord and Savior! I believe in YOU, God, that YOU will shine light into the darkness. And wherever You choose to send me, God---whether it's Houston or Nashville or Antarctica, I pray that my service will glorify Your name.
